How To Accept Yourself For Who You Are
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball
During my journey of life, I’ve had to learn how to accept myself for who I am. As a result of this interesting journey I want to tell you how to accept yourself for who you are and live in the freedom to authentically be who you are.
The reason we find it so hard to accept ourselves and tune in to our emotions is that sometimes we are not the person we would like to be.
When we dislike something, we resist it and the fears that come with it.
When you accept yourself, it’s easy to self-evaluate and discover why you feel anxious, stressed, or frustrated.
Such self-awareness is powerful.
It allows you to identify the cause of your tension so you can recommend a solution for it.
“DIAGNOSE before you PRESCRIBE” is as old as time its self.
It’s safe to assume that almost all of us enter adulthood afflicted with a certain negative bias. In general, as children we’re able to accept ourselves only to the degree we feel accepted by our parents.
Research has demonstrated that before the age of eight, we lack the ability to formulate a clear, separate sense of self other than that which has been communicated to us by our caretakers.
So if our parents were unable, or unwilling, to communicate the message that we were totally okay and acceptable independent, of our hard to control, sometimes sinful behaviors. We were well-informed to view ourselves doubtfully.
What Is Self- Acceptance?
Self-acceptance can be defined as:
The awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses,
the realistic (yet subjective) assessment of one’s talents, skills, and general worth, and,
the feelings of satisfaction with one’s self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors and choices.
Self-acceptance is accepting yourself just how you are in the present. We tend to mistaken self-acceptance with self-improvement and try to improve ourselves before we’ve accepted the reality of somethings about ourselves.
Self-improvement focuses on changes that need to be made in order to accept you in the future. Self-acceptance identifies with the intention to value yourself as you are now. Then, you can decide whether you want to improve yourself in the future.
When we’re self-accepting, we’re able to embrace all features of ourselves, not just the positive, more “esteemable” parts.
Self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. We can recognize our weaknesses, limitations, and imperfections, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves.
Why Self-Acceptance is Important?
When you don’t accept who you are as a person, you don’t get the joy of experiencing a life of contentment and satisfaction. You can’t fully celebrate all that you have to offer because you close your eyes to it. You focus on your negative qualities and totally ignore your positive ones.
Sometimes, we compare ourselves to others. Some of us might feel we do not measure up to whomever or whatever standard or expectation one may have of you regardless to what it is. Whatever it is, it causes us to feel less than.
Self-acceptance is something that can be easily nurtured through self-motivation and willpower. Of course, this is not going to happen in a day but over time, you would come into your own and love you for you.
If you screw up, so be it. Don’t let it define you. It’s an action you took, not an indicator of your self-worth.
Tips To help You Accept Yourself As You Are
Realize Your Uniqueness
Every person in the world is unique in his own way. No two people have the same fingerprint. Not even identical twins who share a single DNA. You are you and there can be no other.
There can be likenesses, there can be copies but the original is still you. Even in the similarity of our stories, we all retain our individualism. This is what makes us unique.
To accept yourself, the first step is in knowing you are one in a billion people. It is only one of you. It is extremely important to mark your good qualities and be proud of them. Understand that it would be difficult to fall in love with someone else when you are not in love with yourself. You cannot give what you do not have.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Other People.
You can’t ever accept yourself if you compare yourself to others and feel you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or whatever enough. You’ll always look at yourself as more subordinate and under par.
You’ll always find someone who can do something better than you. However, you’ll also find things that you can do better than other people. Everyone has strengths in different areas.
Embrace your uniqueness. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Just be yourself
Learn To Curb The Powers Of Your Inner Critic
Our inner critic has its place in our mental and physical make-up. It is the voice in your head, sometimes the voice of reason. However, it is not always right and you need to know this.
You need to decide when to heed it and when to ignore it. Do not sell yourself short. Do not cast yourself down. Even if that voice in your head says you are not good enough go out and prove to yourself that you are better than you thought.
What I am saying is that if there is a need to defeat your inner voice, defeat it. Let it know who the captain of this ship really is.
Let Go Of Perfection.
If you’re waiting to love yourself when you’re perfect, you’re going to be waiting forever. No one is perfect. Instead of aiming for perfection aim to be better than you are. Try your hardest and do the best you can. The results may not be perfect, but they’ll be better than if you didn’t try at all.
Celebrate Your Strong Qualities
Don’t define yourself by your mistakes, but by your achievements. When you show pride in your work or success, no matter how small, your confidence is boosted. You step lightly. Rather than worrying about what you don’t have, hunt for the many qualities that you possess and by doing so you will not only accept you but you would also fall (more) in love with yourself.
Be Kind to Yourself
Try being kind to yourself by accepting your flaws and loving yourself as you are, when you show compassion to yourself, you defeat the monster within you.
Do something every day that makes you feel good about yourself. If you find it a struggle to accept yourself, then do things that make you feel better. Engage in activities that reaffirm your positive self-worth.
Take care of your outer appearance. Just making yourself up instead of letting yourself go is often enough to make you feel better instantly.
• Help someone in need. When you’re there to assist someone else with their struggles, it can’t help but put a smile on your face knowing you did something good.
• Meditate for contentment and peace. Take the time to sit by yourself and clear your mind of all the negative so you can focus strictly on the positive.
Don’t Look Back
Most of us compare ourselves to the idealized dream of our youth and mourn our failures. However, what has gone can never come back. Instead, focus should be on what we still have a say in: what is still to come.
Never look back with regrets. The past should be used only as lesson points on what to do or not do again.
Have the courage to accept that you failed. Have the wisdom to accept that you are not a failure.
Believe in your best interest, keep on believing that whatever you are, you are the best. And in due season you will realize that this is the truth.
Acknowledging our faults doesn’t make us lesser mortals; there is no use of battling with the truth and breeding an inferiority complex. You must accept the truth and learn to live with it. Then you can have a firm foundation to fly and soar from.
Do you find it hard to be comfortable with who you are? Are you wishing for the day that you can look in the mirror and see a face smiling back at you, instead of the one that tells you you’re not good enough? Please share your experiences in the comment forum below! Also, follow me on social media. And don’t forget to chek out the recommended books listed. These are good sources to learn how to accept your self.
Follow Jamie Clay On Social Media
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